Jesus, Son of God, have
mercy upon me, a sinner.
Thursday
Luke 4:18-19
"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he hath anointed me to preach
the gospel to the
poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to
preach
deliverance to the captives, and recovering of
sight to the blind, to set at
liberty them that are
bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord."
The Illumined Heart: Capturing the Faith
of the Ancient Christians
by Frederica Matthewes-Green
Published 2007 by Paraclete Press
p. 41-42
The starting point for the early
church was this awareness of the abyss of sin inside
each person, the murky depths of which only the top few
inches is visible. God, who is all clarity and
light, wants to make us perfect as he is perfect, shot
through with his radiance. The first step in our
healing, then, is not
being comforted. It is taking a hard look at the
cleansing that needs to be done.
This is not a condemnation but right
diagnosis. It is not judgmentalism, because the
judgment is evenly applied. All are sinners, all
have fallen short. It is not false guilt, because
a lot of the guilt we feel is in fact deserved; we are
guilty. Forgiveness of past sins doesn't cure the
sickness in the heart that continues to yearn after
more. We will remain sick until that healing
begins, and it will be a lifelong process.
What a relief it is to admit this.
Like the woman weeping at Jesus' feet, we have nothing
more to conceal, no more self justification, no more
self pity. We are fully known, even in the depths
that we ourselves cannot see, cannot bear to see.
Instead of hoping that God will love us for our good
parts and pass over the rest, we know that he died for
the bad parts, and will not rest till they are made
right. The depth of our sin proves the height of
his love, a height we cannot comprehend until we realize
how desperately we need it. We are fully loved,
and one day will be fully healed, brought into God's
presence without a spot or wrinkle or any such thing.
Our path of transformation can be
likened to that of the butterfly's.
Generally, when we embrace transformation, we only want
to think of the end result.
We don't want to think about the work that goes into it,
or the sacrifices we'll have to make to be able to soar.
I know that when I went through a transformation some
years ago, I thought "Wonderful. Things will be better."
They were, but in the process there were attitudes and
behaviors I had to surrender that were central to my
life.
--Linda-Ann Stewart Ct.H., Ct.H.A --
